So this evening mom and dad are taking Mistress and me out for dinner. I am not sure where but I am sure that wherever it is will be fine. It’s supposed to be our Christmas dinner with them.

I know that it shouldn’t feel like this but I still feel like I’m alone. Yes I know that I am not but when I’m alone trying to sleep on the couch with penny it feels like more than that. Yes I know that you need to sleep, but I can’t keep doing this, it feels like I’m missing the part of our relationship that was supposed to be here when I spent time here with you.

This is the only part about poly that is driving me nuts. The separate sleeping arrangements or rather directions. I am fully committed to doing what you ask of me but it still hurts, every time. I don’t blame you, I know that you are trying to make it better for me but I don’t like it this way.

Yeah I’m writing this at 4 am because I can’t sleep. I want to be yours 100 percent, am I Mistress?