Overthinking will get me nowhere.

It has gotten me nowhere time and again. I’m tired and I just woke up admittedly I woke up and fixed my pants that had a huge hole in the pocket but yeah. I hate feeling like I’m just an afterthought. It’s like getting picked last for a baseball team and getting benched for the entire game, just the coaches if all else fails I’ll bring in the other one because they’re going to make my game rock.

That’s actually how I have felt since I left yesterday and got a text before I went to bed. Did I do something wrong while I was there? Did they talk with the “primary” and he be the one who prompted her to say what she did? Or am I not understanding the text message because it was dictated and makes what was said before the opposite of what was said?

A guy can do alot of good and then still be emotionally damaged when it’s over and what is said after goes and does a number on you. Yeah I feel like shit about all of this today. Yeah I’m emotional right now and don’t feel like I have a solid foundation anymore.

The worst part about this is didn’t think. So I will think now instead.

I said a lot of stuff that in my mind would hurt me. I am sorry that I even started down that line of thinking. It cheapens both what we shared and what makes me submissive to you Mistress. I’m not even sure if you would accept the term to describe your hold on me anymore. When you said that you are dropping me I guess I hoped that it would be temporary. Idk anymore. Either way, I still care for you.