Tonight I had a long talk with Danielle. Over the last couple of days we have traded insults and bad words over hurt feelings on both parts and now Nick is trying to continue with the bad behavior which I am very ashamed of. It never should have gotten so out of hand and I feel it is my fault things got out of hand.
Yes Danille is a dominant woman and worthwhile to know. My impatience to talk is my own fault and I should have approached wanting to talk differently and waited. It is hard to wait when a question goes unanswered.
As Yoda tells Luke, “Do or do not there is no middle ground,” and I was trying to do but to Do as Yoda says I needed to have my Mistress awake and coherent and she had gone to bed. I was and still am an hour away by train so the in person Do wasn’t possible and as she told me earlier today that she had told me to come back on Friday, after the Thursday we talked and discussed other stuff regarding the mess with the bed. I either hadn’t heard her saying Friday or forgot which is definitely my fault.
I’m not perfect, hell I am even more imperfect than that. I jump to conclusions and so I posted a few posts both in my blog and on Fetlife that I believe she misunderstood what I was saying and that hurt her. Made her question if what I was saying was true and then attacked me saying how untrue it was. We were both to blame in this, while some of what I said was true to how I viewed it she felt otherwise and still does. We were both quite emotional about it and still are it seems. I still love her, always have and just wanted to be her live in second partner.
If you could ever forgive me and take me back I will be more patient. I truly am sorry for everything I said. You didn’t deserve it and it was uncalled for. I know now that it was me who betrayed you, our relationship.