I’ve started my search for a Mistress who is compatible with me. My first time and third time it was the same one. My second passed away in October, shortly after my birthday. It feels like I’m swimming in my absence of a partner who could be the right one, now looking again all I can hope for is that things will turn around or my apologies for mistakes will be heard by the ones I made them to. Even if they aren’t heard I know that with the new city I will have a bigger area to allow me to find someone who sees the possibilities that I can offer them.

Nothing is gauranteed but I have hope that someone will answer my call. I’ve left my needs and information about who I’m looking for, nothing is certain or if I won’t get scammed again. I’m far from perfect but I know who I am and my desires. I’ve left plenty of information about who I am on Fetlife so with any luck it will result in a positive result.

No one has been though the journey I’ve been on and it’s only at the beginning. It’s possible that I will called back by the one I belonged to before. Yes used goods but hopefully well broken in.

Yes I have made mistakes, quite recently. It’s caused a rift, a break in who had claimed me as her own but I have been cast aside so the only recourse I saw was to both repair what I damaged and begin to look for another or if she will have me back to return to her. I know that I would be happy to return but I feel that without someone I am nothing but an afterthought.

Yes I know that I shouldn’t be like this but the dynamic that was started felt like home. I want to go home again. Cherished, loved as someone who can complete what is felt by another. The yearning for something more than just a vanilla carbon copy cutout of what the rest of the world sees as a relationship. The M/s type of relationship is what draws me. BDSM has been my goal for several years. Finding a partner who complements my desires and has similar needs to my own is a goal worth pursuing as I have been for the three years since my coma.

I am single, divorced and according to my latest STI test I am clean. I should go for another test. Every time I get a new partner I should retest. I did before this latest one but thankfully we hadn’t fluid bonded. Since my move I haven’t found a new doctor either so I guess it’s more than just a Mistress who I am looking for.

The hunt begins.