It is not the sex that I am longing for, it is so much more than that. The touch of your hand, the smell of you in all your unashamed glory and your voice whispered in my ears...”Mine,” the closeness that was achieved and lasts through all that the past has thrown in our way. I long for you every moment of the day because I know that I am yours.
I didn’t begin this way, you have changed me. For all that has gone on I know you have been True to yourself and me. Every moment we share together is a gift I treasure greatly. Not all of it makes sense, the recent troubles and I guess it doesn’t need to when I know you. I know that we will get through this somehow but it doesn’t diminish the longing, it intensifies it.
Toys don’t satisfy me and even when I touch myself it doesn’t quench the longing because it not about the sex it is about you, your desires and wishes. Sex would be just a topping if were a thing. I want to be with you. For who you are as a person, your love and enjoyment in all sorts of things because you are no one’s sub, no one’s possession. You are master of your domain and I long to share space in your domain with all that you hold dear.
I long to be part of your domain and do what you need done because I can. I trust you with all of me, my life, love and possessions. I trust you to be a strong Domme for your own ends and I trust you ma’am. It terrifies me to think that you might abandon me, it has me waking up middle of the night and I know that isn’t sexy or brave but I can’t return yet and that thought I may never reinforces the terror.