In the midst of all the pandemic crazy stuff going on I made a couple of mistakes. First mistake was not discussing shit with Mistress, and second was not being more open with her. Yes I know that I can be foolish at times and naive at others…the slippery downward spiral that happens when my brain isn’t engaged in future plans in the works I forget myself and my commitments to my Mistress. Yes I’m feeling a like I’m an idiot right now.
Post talk about how I fucked up the situation and my actions I was called on because Mistress juju is strong and she knows when I am being stupid…calls me on it and I am thankful for that. Just for a bit of context I was applying for a PA job with a pimp which from what I understand that Mistress informed me about, often times sex workers do in fact work from home. Not the job I was applying for fyi. I can be a bit naive when I am looking for money, it’s a weakness that I recognize and acknowledge so I do need to be sharper in my looking for work and not get distracted by pussy pictures and cock pictures and forget that plumbing can be cleaned by Mistress, it doesn’t have to be someone else, and if I do need a play date I can ask her for one. Would it make sense to go to Montana’s for a delicious steak if I have a delicious one in the freezer at home? Absolutely not and I will be remembering that for a good long time. I think today has been both enlightening as well as quite uncomfortable in the knowledge that I fucked up. I do hope that I learn from this and fix what I broke.
I find it’s so easy to forget that what works in these relationships is just flat out honesty … without the second guessing, turning away or in some cases, outside influence as to what is ‘right’.
Personally, I have a hard time changing my mindset from my everyday in charge self and my submissive bunny self. i keep quiet so as to not be making orders, BUT that’s not what it is in the right mindset is it? It’s asking ….. OYE! lol
Anyway, sorry for the ramble – thanks for the reminder! Good luck and be well on your journey, none of us are perfect – it’s in the trying and that you are doing! *smiles*
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One foot in front of the other, sometimes taking two steps back…life
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