It grips me when I wake in the middle of the night. Where is my partner? Why don’t I have someone with me? I’m not good enough and everyone hates me. It’s not fair and I want Mistress.

Yes my needy side rears its head when I’m anxious and uncertain about the relationship that almost was and possibly is but isn’t and I’m so confused about everything right now I want to be certain. I am not and I know who to blame for uncertainty, my own psyche and I need to get this buttoned down.

Anxiety is a dangerous thing to allow to roam around in the head. It’s unwholesome and isn’t what I need right now so I’ll count down and snuggles with penny and hope this darkness passes soon.